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Question
– I feel that i have been dishonest and insincere in all my relations
throughout my life. Yes, sir, i have not done justice to my parents, my wife,
nor my children, nor my friends and neighbors, and so on and now i feel i am
not just sincere to my master and my sannyas also. This is the cause of great
agony to me, to my mind. What should i do?
Osho –
If you start thinking in terms of doing, you will again be insincere because in
whatsoever you have done, you have been insincere. Your doing has become
corrupted. So the first thing is: resist doing! Just remain alert, alert to
your insincerity. Don’t be in a haste to do anything because that will be done
again by you; your whole past will be involved in your doing.
Resist!
Just remain with this feeling that you have been insincere, that’s enough. It
is purifying, it has a tremendous capacity to purify and cleanse you. Just
remain with the feeling that “I have been insincere’: that “I am insincere” —
and don’t try to do anything about it. That is again trying to create a good
image of yourself: that you are not insincere, that you are a sincere man. Your
ego is hurting because you have been insincere.
Try to
be aware of the fact; don’t try to do anything about it. Anything that you do
will be immature. It is too early. Just remain with the idea; live with it.
Live with the idea that you are insincere. If you can live with it, the very
idea, the very awareness, will kill your ego completely. The ego cannot remain
alive if you think you are insincere. The ego needs a good image: that you are
a sincere man — very honest. That’s what the ego is saying: “Do something so
you can repaint the image, renovate the image.”
You
have been insincere. This has been revealed to you through meditation. Now the
ego is in danger of death. The ego says: do something. Through doing, it will
try to again reclaim the fallen image, resettle with the old, so you can feel
again that “lam good, I am beautiful. I am sincere, I am moral, I am this and
that.”
The
first thing — very difficult, arduous, but this has to be done: just remain
alert to the insincerity. Look at the idea of it and don’t be bothered to
change it. It will change of its own accord because once you understand that
you are insincere, you cannot remain insincere. It is impossible; it has never
happened. It cannot happen; the very thing is impossible. If you know that you
are insincere, it will drop. So if you want it to stay, then do something to
create the feeling that you are sincere.
If you
know that you are a liar, the Lying will stop of its own accord. If you feel
you are immoral, don’t try to do anything: don’t repent, don’t feel guilty —
those are tricks. Remain with the idea: the naked fact of who you are. Don’t
move, don’t get occupied in doing something. Remain naked, with the naked idea,
the naked reality, and you will see a change is happening. Not by your doing….
And
when a change comes to you not by your doing, it comes from God. Only God can
make you moral, sincere; only God can make you religious; only God can make you
pure. It is PRASAD, it is His gift; you cannot do it. All your doing will be an
undoing. Please, remind yourself again and again that you are not to do
anything.
You
say, “This is the cause of great agony to my mind.’! Yes, it is a great cause
of agony to your mind and to the ego — which is the same: mind or ego — because
the ego feels hurt. YOU — and insincere? You had always believed that you were
a very sincere man, you had always believed that you were a pinnacle of a man:
a crescendo of humanity, the purest gold. You had always believed that.
Now
meditation has broken a window into the falseness. You have been able to look
into yourself: the reality. You have come across a mirror. Now don’t try to
escape from it, remain with the fact. Whosoever you are — that is your reality.
Remain with the fact. If you can remain with the fact, you will change. But
that change will not be your doing, it will happen.
When a
transformation comes to you, it has a totally different grace. Whatsoever you
do will always be tiny, mediocre and finally useless. Whatsoever God does to
you is infinite. Only that can be infinite which comes from the infinite.
Don’t
try to do anything. Accept the fact, remain with it, relax, and suddenly there
will come a transformation.
I
teach sudden transformation, and I teach transformation by God, not by you. You
are just to allow Him. That is all you have to do on your part. Open the door,
wait. Just open the door — that much you have to do. Allow… so that when He
knocks at the door you can welcome Him, when He comes you can recognize Him,
when He comes you can call Him in. Just don’t sit with closed doors, that’s
all. Meditation is nothing but that: opening the door.
Meditation
will not give you enlightenment, remember. No technique can ever give you
enlightenment; enlightenment is not technical. Meditation can only prepare the
ground. meditation can only open the door. Meditation can only do something
negatively; the positive will come. Once you are ready, it always comes. Please
don’t try to do anything. Just be.
Source
– Osho Book “Come Follow To You, Vol 1″
To download this book right click the link and "Save Target As" - Come Follow To You Volume1.pdf
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